Here on Earth

Last Saturday of 2019.

Suddenly I was afraid. Fearful for this year to end.

I didn’t intend to sit down and make a careful assessment of how 2019 was to me, but some things that happened made me do so.

As much as I refused to acknowledge it, this year is a year of brokenness, of goodbyes, of closures, of letting go, as much as this is a year of healing and daily renewals.

I realized how much goodbyes there has been for this year. People walked away from me. I lost them, they lost me. I chose to ignore the heartbreaks it brought me. I chose to recognize how God is working in my life, and that He is in control. But suddenly, I was made to realize, that while amidst the brokenness there is God, the brokenness shouldn’t be ignored.

I have to look at it straight on the eye, and find strength and learning from all the cracks, from all the shattered pieces of my heart. God is with me, it’s a fact, but I must acknowledge pain and rise from it.

There were goodbyes and closures in death, in moving to another chapter, in leaving, in being forgotten. This year was filled with healing, with restorations, heartbreaks and failures.

This was the year that I had fall outs. I had been to crossroads. I had been to different places in my life.

2019 has been a year that’s brimming with challenges and unexplained situations. So, I cannot help but wonder, will 2020 be the year of breakthrough for me?

I trust that God is preparing me for something bigger and bolder for 2020. I am excited and scared at the same time. I shouldn’t be. But 2019 is barely closing, who knows about all the surprises this is yet to offer me before the new year strikes.