I just got home five minutes ago, and yes, it’s 12:38 already in the morning.
I am hungry, tired and almost drenched in rain. It took me roughly 3 hours to get a ride home. Along with other stranded commuters, we braved the long queue of passengers amidst the heavy rain.
At around 8:30 pm, on my way to the terminal, I started praying for an easy ride home, but to my dismay, a horrendous sight of long line of commuters welcomed me.
I took a spot in the line and prayed for a miracle of outpouring of vehicles to ride, and asked God to let me reach home within 45 minutes.
I waited. I prayed. I waited. I prayed. I prayed. I waited, and waited and waited, until after more than three hours I was able to take my ride.
It was still raining hard when I reached our place. I held my umbrella steadily as I rush against a rushing flood of water on the street. And as I feel the hem of wide-legged pants getting drenched, I asked God, “Lord, why? What should I learn about this situation? Why do I have to wait for more than three hours? I am so hungry. I am drenched. I am tired. I need to be up at 5 am for work. Why?”
I didn’t get the answer. But I did get an answer.
Like a bright light in a dark tunnel of my mind, I was suddenly enlightened.
Not everything is about me.
It is not always about my convenience. It’s not always about what I would feel, or what I want to do. The moment I offered my life to God, I am no longer living a life that aims to please myself.
God doesn’t owe me an explanation. He can make the rain pour forever if He wanted to. He can make me wait longer. He can make me more drenched and tired. He is in control, and I am not.
Things happen for a reason, and sometimes the reason is not revealed to us by God. He does not need to. We can only submit ourselves to Him, and trust that He will use us for His plans.
Until I started to acknowledge my role in this plan of His, I suddenly appreciated all the time I was in the terminal, waiting.
While waiting, I was able to read a book about Holiness and meditate on it, and also review my memory verses. While on my way home, I was praying for our driver and all the commuters left in the terminal. I was so grateful for our driver, that I was so close to verbally thanking him for braving the heavy rain and traffic just to fetch passengers.
When I reached home, my sister is still awake, with a missed call on my phone. Our dog is still awake also, waiting for me.
My sister helped my dry my umbrella and asked if I am soaking in rain.
I was able to appreciate our drivers, all the dispatchers who stayed with the passengers. I appreciate how my sister and our dog waited for me to reach home.
I don’t think there something big with the role I played in this plan, but I hope I did well. I am tired, but I feel contented. Not everything in life is about my success, it’s actually about His.
Again. It’s not always about me. Because everything in my life is Him.
“Lord, forgive me if I always think You are to please me, whereas I should be living a life to please you. Forgive me if I think everything else is about me, when in fact it is not one bit. Forgive me if I think highly of myself. Teach me again how to be like you.